Our Services
Basic Probe Session
Immerse yourself in a captivating introduction designed to provide insightful perspectives for those embarking on their journey of discovery. Ignite your adventurous spirit and commemorate your explorations with our charming and playful “I'm Getting Probed!” digital sticker. This unique sticker not only adds a touch of whimsy to your experiences but also serves as a symbol of the thrilling encounters that await you. Embrace the excitement, delve into the unknown, and transform your adventures into lasting, unforgettable memories!
Premium Probing
Embark on an extraordinary adventure with an extended "getting to know you" session, embracing the marvels of advanced alien technology. Engage in transformative cosmic conversations with your extraterrestrial technician, exploring the mysteries of the universe, the essence of life, and even the intricacies of your colon. As a testament to your courageous spirit, you will receive a framed certificate honoring your willingness to embrace the unknown.
Please note: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Group “Close Encounters”
Gather your friends and host an unforgettable "Probe Party," where you can explore the cosmos together! This unique event is perfect for a variety of occasions, whether you're looking to strengthen bonds during team-building exercises, celebrate a bachelorette party, or indulge that one friend who's been dreaming of a close encounter with extraterrestrial life. When you choose our Probe Party package, you'll enjoy exclusive benefits, including a generous group discount for larger parties, custom-themed merchandise to commemorate your experience, and the ultimate bragging rights for your future social gatherings.
Partner Species
Andromedans
Known for providing sweet whispers of encouragement and an ultra-gentle technique, they compliment your stellar aura before, during, and after.
Aurorians
As natural healers, they will calm your nerves with soothing lights and gentle sedation techniques. You may find yourself drifting into pleasant daydreams during the session.
Molteks
They are a warm and friendly group; it's said that they sometimes bake cookies after appointments. They may also ask to interview you about Earth’s greatest culinary achievements.
Savrans
Adventurous explorers, known for their thorough scans and upbeat attitudes. Expect lively alien banter and possibly an invitation to their next interstellar festival.
Zephyrites
Fast and efficient, with no small talk. Ideal for those who want a quick and drama-free experience. In and out before you can say “Interplanetary Diplomacy!”
Testimonials
Debbie from Des Moines
Alan from Tallahassee
Tori from Seattle
Jorge from Phoenix
Denise from Orlando
Alex from Toronto
Frequently Asked Questions
Will it be uncomfortable?
Our visitors employ advanced methods to ensure minimal discomfort. Expect a slight tingling sensation—more curiosity than pain.
Can I interact with the space visitors during the process?
Absolutely. Feel free to ask them about their planet, preferred environmental conditions, or the secrets of the universe (they might not reveal everything, though).
Is there an age limit to participate?
Volunteers must be of consenting age (adults in their region) and comfortable with the procedure. No minors allowed.
What if I get nervous and back out?
No pressure—your well-being is our priority! You can halt the session anytime, though our guests might beam you a disappointed look.
How long does a session last?
Anywhere from five minutes to half an hour, depending on the alien race and the complexity of the procedure you signed up for.
Can I request specific cosmic gadgets or scanning techniques?
You may, but each race has its own proprietary technology. Let them do their thing!
Are language barriers a problem?
Most visitors use advanced translation implants. You can ask them questions in your native language, and they’ll get the gist—maybe with comedic misunderstandings here and there.
What do I wear?
Most participants opt for something easy to remove or adjust, as the procedure focuses on, well, your nether region. But hey, if you want to show off your best pajamas or costume, go for it!
Is it normal to feel a strange, soothing melody in my head afterward?
Some species use soundwaves for relaxation and data transfer. Consider it your new intergalactic lullaby for the evening.
About Our Organization
OmniNova Global stands as Earth’s leading gateway to the cosmos—an expansive, multinational corporation dedicated to uniting our vibrant global community with the inquisitive minds from beyond the stars. Rather than shrink back from the unexplained wonders of deep space, we’ve chosen to welcome them with open arms, each new encounter a moment of insight and excitement.
Our guiding principle? Foster joyful connections free from fear or intimidation, ensuring that every volunteer’s experience is both safe and memorable. Our streamlined, no-cost sign-up process reflects our commitment to accessibility: we believe that cosmic curiosity should be celebrated by all, regardless of background or budget.
Underpinning everything we do is a deep-seated reverence for discovery. At OmniNova Global, every visit from distant travelers is not just an event—it’s a chance to learn, laugh, and bring our universal family closer together. Whether you’re a first-time volunteer or an experienced cosmic enthusiast, our mission is to provide an atmosphere of awe and camaraderie, replacing anxieties of abduction with the thrill of genuine interplanetary friendship.
Join us on this magnificent voyage into the unknown, and become part of a legacy that bridges worlds. With OmniNova Global, you’re stepping beyond the ordinary and into the realm of the extraordinary—one friendly cosmic exploration at a time!